Supporting the Nation

Civilians who have boyfriends or girlfriends in the military may need coping strategies to deal with the military tours that last months, and the lack of communication that is often part of these long-distance relationships. This often-complicated relationship has no hope of success unless the love between the two of you is strong. There must be complete trust in each other, and patience Was this helpful?

Lastly, you feel comfort in the situation because you know no matter what the military throws your way, you both can handle it. 2. Stay positive.

They have kids, they have base housing, they know their way in and out and through the military like I would know my way through a video game. Nothing makes me feel as self-conscious as being around people who have years of experience over me. I had never felt so alone as when I had to mingle with these people and get to know them, when I was so new to everything relatively speaking and had so little in common with them. But whatever military-hosted gathering you find yourself at, all you can do is get through it.

So make friends with as many people who have dated, married, or been family to someone in the military. One word: acronyms. Acronyms everywhere. So just hold on, ask a few and only a few questions, and be patient. You will learn with time, and someday, it will be second nature to inquire where he will be PCSing to and whether his BAH has come in yet. So when their chain of command switches their duties to something awful, or when they are berated for three hours about something as small as having part of their uniform out of regs — just be there for them.

If you can, give them a hug, hold their hand, and be still.